I think we as a nation, are all suffering from clinical depression:

I think we as a nation, are all suffering from clinical depression-  Think about it:  Everyone is exhausted, overwhelmed by their situation, overcome by mounting debts, trapped, and powerless to make it any better. We all stare at the news in hopeless despair as the deficit rises, and we shake our heads and sigh.  We watch our friends, neighbors, families lose their homes, and we pull down the blinds, and turn the lights down for the night.  We lie awake, listening in the dark, wondering what next?  We find ourselves too tired, too depleted to do anymore than is needed of us, merely going through the motions each day, succumbing to our own inertia.

We so desperately need to wake up, snap out, come to, find the manic to our depressive, and begin the clamoring our way back to healthy. (In so many more ways than one.)  We are spiritually bankrupt, financially decimated, battle weary, and hope is like a lost child, we yearn for her, but cannot catch sight of her no matter what we do.  We are lost in despair and isolated, in need of something greater than hope, something motivating. It's dark and cold here at the bottom in the shadows, we must begin to climb out toward the light, no matter how terrifying that thought may be. 

Free Moby Wrap Giveaway

I was given a Moby wrap at my baby shower and I absolutely love it.  It gives me my arms back, while Aurora gets to snooze the day away snuggled close to mommy's heart.  She seems to be most content when she is completely encased in the wrap, and has slept quietly for hours while I moved around.  She is even undisturbed when I move from sitting to standing and back again.  So now I am sharing a link to receive a free Moby wrap:  http://raisingolives.com/2010/09/moby-wrap-baby-carrier-giveaway-review/#comment-30207

Good luck!

Covert Affairs=Burn Notice Lite?

I actually had high hopes for Covert Affairs.  I had good reasons for this, too. Brought to the USA network by Doug Liman, of the Bourne Trilogy, the show has quite a pedigree.  To appeal to the fans of Chuck, Christopher Gorham, (Jake 2.0) is the tech guy of the series.  In fact, on paper, the cast were all well-chosen.Piper Perabo has appeared in several movies, Coyote Ugly, Cheaper by the Dozen,etc.  Of course, with the success of shows like "Chuck" and "Burn Notice", I was not surprised to see more spy shows in the works. The most exciting thing for me, (albeit a bit sexist) is that this show has a female lead.  Unfortunately, Annie Walker is no Fiona Glennanne.  In fact, the biggest disappointment of the show thus far is that Annie has proven to be more of a victim of circumstance than a strong female lead.  Recruited into the CIA, Annie was not really chosen for her language skills, but for her relationship with a former agent who went rogue.  Of course, poor Annie doesn't realize this, and for her part, she was top of her class at the farm.  Unfortunately, they must have brought her out of the farm before she could complete any combat or weapons training, and she almost gets killed in the pilot.  Luckily, Ben is following her around like a lovesick puppy, and he kills Stauss just in time, stepping onto the subway train just as Annie falls unconscious.  ( This is more romance novel than spy series)  In fact, even though Annie now knows why she was recruited, she still seems content to bob along, doing whatever her CIA director tells her to do. (Don't even get me started on those two, a CIA director who misappropriated resources to spy on her husband/boss?  It would never happen the way it was written!)  I was hoping for such much more from this show, but it seems we are left with a Burn Notice Lite- filled with nuances of relationships, but lacking the power punch of a confident, self-sufficient female lead. 

So...you come here often?

I never blogged before. Yeah... I know, you can tell. The post below, my first, was just brewing in me, waiting to get out. I liked it, so I think I'll be back. It was liberating to just vomit all that bile onto a web page, semi-anonymously. If you know me well, you know I had a troubled childhood. I am not one of those who sits around whining about it, I rather choose to wear it as my badge. I am not ashamed that my mother was dead to me for years before she died, she was horrible to me, and my children. I relate to the angry mother-hatin' music of Eminem, in fact. But to some degree, it made me who I am. For that, I am not sorry.

I turned out a bit of alright, I did! Get to know me-Come back soon.

Funny Thing About Hate

I hated you. Every day. Morning and night, pure spite.
You earned my hate, with your mean heart, cutting words, evil ways.
You should have loved me, but instead just judged me. You never saw my value, gave me any worth. You only threw doubt and rage at me, and it ricocheted. (How much it hurt!)I was never good enough, no matter how hard I tried. I would never amount to much, no, not in your eyes.
As I grew, I became defiant, learned to be self-reliant. Protecting and caring, brilliantly daring.
Never enough for you, I know, but still stronger than you'd see me grow. In my youth I thought you spoke truth, but as I grew, I knew. Your insecurities and lies, disparaging remarks, merely your cries. Weak, sad, pitiful really. You were nothing to hate, nothing at all, to belittle me and make me feel small. I laughed at your funeral and spit at your grave, free from your bondage, no longer enslaved.
You gave me life on earth and nothing more, God opened the window, when you closed the door.

The funny thing is, I turned out just great, free of my anger, released of my hate.
A strong, loving mother, I turned out to be, without such a role model to be there for me.
Fearless and unapologetic, because I know what I want and I know how to get it.
I follow my heart and make myself happy.
You were miserable every day of your life, and wanted the same for me, sorry to disappoint (not really), but that will never be.
I rebel against all that you were, all that you instilled in me-
I'm confident and beautiful and always will be- the things that you weren't-
Warm, cheerful and funny- a delight really, just sweet as honey.
I have love in my life in my heart and soul, you gave me nothing, and that was enough.
I earned it all by myself, through patience and love.
I thought I hated you for how you used to be....
But now I see, it was you who hated me.